It’s almost 5 months now. I didn’t realize time could flew this fast. I’m so used to it right now, jealousy is slowly turning it way round. Funny when it’s turned up that you’re the one who are keeping your friends’ sense on the ground. It’s a good feeling, but not really.
What will you do when a friend of hundreds kilometer away calling you in tears in a subway? What will you do when you text a friend to say hye, and she just pour all her problems out? How will you feel?
If you’re planning on going somewhere far away aren’t you supposed to at least be happy? Why in the whole world that you are not? It’s frustrates me so much. How could I be content when I know there’s someone who is not. To be happy is not a sin. There’s nothing wrong in wanting to be happy. Why putting conditions and terms to restrict yourself from being happy?
It is hard being alone with no real friends and family you could really talk to. It even gets lonely at times. It made you think twice about your past decisions and how you wish you know better. That’s why He made you not knowing. Because then you will only choose the one which only please you, not the one which are really good for you.
Stop just wishing to be happy, and start to really be! Because you know what, I have tons of complaints and dissatisfactions and at times I really want to rant on and on about some petty things but its hard when there’s others taking the highlights away. It made my problems look tiny and trivial in comparison. But, they’re still problems and most importantly they’re mine.
So I stop writing. Because I told myself, if it’s not going to be beneficial to others, don’t bother.
I don’t intend to write anything motivational. If you seek that in my writing sorry but I’ll just simply be a disappointment. Find yourselves that in a bookstore. I’m writing life experience stories. I’m translating emotions lay deep within. I’m presenting opinions and thoughts I don’t have the opportunity to voice out. I don’t want to be a motivationer.
Look into my life, and live better. Hear my thoughts, and think better.
I am happy. So please, be happier :)
(Cardiff, UK- Pahang, MAS)