Sunday, 9 February 2014

Not Being Me

Last friday I found an advertisement about this one seminar,

I got so excited I texted the number telling Him that I want to join.
I don't think - as usual.
How will I get there?
The transportation fees?
All I know that I was already half my way to bank-in the registration fees.
I did hesitate.
But, it just that when I'd make up my mind I don't think twice.
Because then I'll start to make excuses.

Sometimes I don't really mind going alone.
I'm totally find with it.
But then people be like
"Who are you with? Alone? You came alone?"
That's what I can't stand the most.

So I was in front of the bank.
But for the very first time I didn't went in.
Instead I sat on the bench.
Why did I do that?
I was seeking for a sign perhaps.
I was very disturbed because this was so not like me.
The old me, she will definitely went to the atm and transfer the money.

Hardly I contained myself.
From doing something that I really want to.
Maybe it was because of this one thing I'd say.

My dad asked,
'Ika esok balik tak?'
He never missed to ask me this every week.
Sometimes it was hard to reply.
His happiness or my student life.
So I told my dad that this weekend, I won't be home.
I want to study, to revise.
I got tests and assignments ahead.

Sadly, I didn't even think twice when I saw this adv.
I even forgot about what I'd say to my dad.
The reason why I don't want to go back home.

So I went back in vain.
In pain.
That's what happen when you don't think.