Wednesday, 21 August 2013

DASS : Depression Anxiety Stress Scale

Kelas Psychology.

Miss Ainnur  : Okay kelas. Hari ni saya nak buat test.
Girls             : What!! But you didn’t tell us. It’s not fair! We didn’t study a thing.
Boys            : Tomorrow miss, tomorrow. Esok ada kelas psychology. *winkwink
Miss Ainnur  : Tapi saya nak buat test hari ni jugak!
Class            : *giving excuses*
Miss Ainnur  : Okay. Cepat cari pair! You’ll be doing this test by pair.

Me    : Ecah, camna ni cah. Kita tak bawak note psychology satu pun.
Ecah  : Kita pun sama.

Gulp. We’re dead.

Miss Ainnur  : *distributing the test sheet
Class            : *grinning. Ohhhhh!!!!

It happened that we actually had to answer a questionnaire about the DAS score. We’d been tricked! Some of us might really end up getting a heart attack here. Hmmmpph.

Today lesson was very interesting. Indeed, so full of drama and speculation just like usual.

We are assigned to answer the questionnaire and after that we had to calculate the marks and identify which group we‘re classified in.

Few of the question:
1. I always feel that I am worthless
2. I don’t think I have hope to live anymore
3. I cannot tolerate with things that interrupt me when I’m doing things
4. I was easily touchy
. . .

When I did it with Aisyah, we can’t help but to say ‘merepeknya’, ‘apa punya soalan ni’, ‘ishh, mengarut betul’. Because from my point of view, most of the questions are so negative that we find it rather ridiculous. And it ended up that our DASS score are normal.

But, when Miss Ainnur asked five pairs to present their DASS results in front, I just can’t say how startled I was.

1st Group : Nazura & Elani

Here, we’d been arguing about how one can think positively when they’ve got a problem? So, how? Is it true that one of the ways to reduce stress is to think positively?

For me, when I feel so stressed up, I do something that I had to use all my attentions and energy. So, it can distract me from thinking about that so-stressful-problem. Example, playing hockey. That really reduces my stress. Just hit the ball as hard as you can, and there go your problems up in the sky. Its fun, it’s tiring, and its stress reducing. Heheh

2nd Group : Thalhah & Arief

They’re debaters. I was so jealous how they can fluently and confidently speak in front. Okay, not the point.

They both have a severe depression, anxiety and stress problem. I think it’s quite normal for a debater since they need that sense when they’re debating. Just imagine people like me debating, I don’t like to debate things actually. So, I will like ‘yelah2 kau betul. Ameklah nak sangat’. Sarcasm is the best! Ngeheheh.

Apart from that, they both have a member of family that was sick (under surgery).

Thalhah : Arief, kenapa kau stress?
Arief     : Sebab kena buat test ni lah!

3rd Group : Sadiid & Afiq

These two boys were the worst. Their stress level was ‘extremely severe’. I don’t know why. But, I think most boys are under a lot of stress. Or, that’s what they think so. Ye ye jela depa ni. Bukannya apa sangat pun. Huhhh.

Tapi, terharu sangat diorang semua willing share pengalaman and problem diorang semua. Ada yang pernah kena bully sampai trauma, ada yang menjadi pembulinya and ada yang dari family bermasalah. Nampak diorang memang betul-betul dah anggap kitorang ni macam family. Yelah, takkan nak suka suki je cerita pasal kisah2 hitam hidup kita dekat strangers kan.

Waktu diorang cerita, mostly semua mata berkaca-kaca. Terharuuu. Sedihnya. Even yang budak2 lelakinya
pun layan feeling sekali. Memang huaaaa. Kenapa selama ni tak bersyukur betul aku. Diorang lagi banyak kena duga dari kau. Sedarlah!!

Friday, 16 August 2013

Aku Sunni !

Aku ingat lagi dulu, walaupun masih mentah dan hingusan, aku selalu mempertikaikan banyak perkara. Antaranya ketika ulama’ sepakat mengeluarkan fatwa bahawa Syiah itu masih lagi Islam.

Marah. Tak faham. Tak dapat terima hakikat. Itu apa yang aku rasa.

Islam kau mungkin hanya pada nama. Tapi hakikatnya, layak kau seperti Yahudi. Aku tahu. Engkau masih bertunjangkan Allah. Dan seorang muslim itu hanya dikira murtad apabila dia mensyirikkan Allah. Tapi kau, hanyalah Islam tanpa Iman.

Bodoh. Jahil. Kufur. Itulah engkau.

Engkau terlalu asyik memuja manusia sehingga sanggup bertuhankan nafsu. Jelaskan. Syiah itu hanyalah mazhab yang dicipta oleh manusia. Manusia yang bersalut nafsu. Kenapa pula dibuang ajaran yang dibawa oleh manusia yang maksum?

Cintakah kau kepada nabi Muhammad? Kenapa begitu benci insan yang dicinta baginda? Kenapa menolak hadith yang diungkap baginda?

Aku pernah melihat sebuah video. Mereka menghina para sahabat.

Air mata yang mengalir takkan mampu gambarkan betapa bencinya aku kepada mereka. Aku tak pernah melihat para sahabat. Tidak pernah dipertemukan. Tapi sungguh aku cinta setiap jiwa yang mengaku cinta kepada Muhammad!

Tanpa mereka dimana Muhammad? Insan yang rela menjadikan tubuh mereka perisai bernyawa. Insan yang sentiasa di sisi baginda tika Musyrikin mengecam hebat. Sedarlah! Sedarlah! Sedarlah!

Suara halusku takkan mampu memecah kesedaranmu.

Kerana bagi kau kita terlalu berbeza. Hinakah aku yang Sunni ini? Kelar leherku dan lihat berbezakah warna darah kita. Seribu Sunni pun jika dihadapkan kepada mereka seorang Syiah, belum tentu mereka mampu menumpahkan darahnya. Tapi kau?

Aku sedih. Kehilangan saudara.

Aku sedih. Kematian saudara.

Aku jijk untuk mengaku kita bersaudara. Tapi itu hakikat yang perlu aku telan. Kerana kita bertuhankan tuhan yang sama. Berkiblatkan kiblat yang sama. Membawa satu nama – Islam.

Thursday, 15 August 2013

The Veil

Today was really tiring. We’d travel from Shah Alam to Putrajaya back to Bangi then finally to Serdang. And that’s all just to pay a visit to our once-a-year-meet relatives. Syawal really is something. *phew

So, the incident happens when we’re at a food stall . . .

Ibu : Ika, tinggal ni je *tunjuk muka* ( pakai purdah )

Me : Nanti nantilah bu.

Ibu : Cerita malam tadi ( Ayat – ayat Cinta ) tuh, perempuan nya pakai purdah . . .

*I just have the courage to wear shawl recently.

I was quite shocked when she asked me about it. It’s not like I’d never been thinking about wearing it but, there are so many reasons that hold me from doing so. I even bought one veil myself when I was at the Baitul Qurro’.

Why bother to buy if you don’t have the intention to wear??

I once questioned myself. Maybe I'm not brave enough. Or maybe I'm not ready to let things go. What will people judge me? How if my friends feel uncomfortable around me? The entire ‘if’ questions, it makes me uncertain.


What you wear doesn't differ you from others. We're all the same in His eyes. I well known of myself. I fear that if I meant to wear veil, I only wear it to impress others. To gain attentions. I'm just an ordinary human. So weak, so full of lust. 

So, this is not the time . . . yet. I'm not ready.

If I've been destine to wear it, all praise to Him.
Then, you shall have a daughter that you long her to wear a veil - mother.

Tuesday, 13 August 2013

Raya 1434 H

This is my first time celebrating raya with 10 family members. Why so?? Because my sister had married, so do count her husband and apparently she is pregnant. Hmm. *mixed feeling of excitement and jealousy*

Okay, I hereby want to wish to everyone that knows me a blessful ‘Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri’. Please forgive me for not being a good daughter, sister, friend and companion. If I had accidentally hurt you with my words or my silence or both, I’m really sorry.

Please halal all the,
1. Moneys that I owe.
2. Knowledge you had taught.
3. Foods and drinks.
4. Your things I used without permission.

Have a blast! 

Sunday, 4 August 2013

Sekolah Rendah Islam Hira'

This was my former primary school. It’s very ordinary. There’s nothing about the infrastructure that I can boast about. So old. But, I love each and every single thing related to it. This school, it had shape me into a person that I've been now.

Flash back . . .


class of 2006. standard 5.

Actually, when I look back I realised that this was kind of KISAS version of primary school. It’s because, I remember I hardly spoke to the boys back then. We never really make a contact. At the canteen, the counter was separated between boys and girls. Imagine KISAS, it’s just the same.

The schedule-

The class start at 7.00 if I not mistaken. Then, students will bring their chair and go to the respective tadarus class. The tadarus system class was level with ( iqra’ 1-6, reciting muqaddam, memorizing muqaddam, memorizing 7 selected surah – yassin, al insan, ad dukhan, al waqiah, al mulk, al jumuah, as sajdah ). There’ll be a test to enter the next level. I had to repeat the test to memorize muqaddam three times before I can move on the next level.

We had to line up outside the classroom to recite asmaul husna and some prayer. Then, the class begin . . .

Since we’re a non-government school, our academic syllabus was slightly different with the SK. We have two separate academic syllabuses which is subject to be taken for the UPSR exam and other is subject diniyyah ( sirah, feqah, akhlak, aqidah, tajwid, pqs, arab ).

The thing I like most about this school is that our class ended at 2.30 p.m sharp. Before that, we are having Zohor prayer jemaah at the musolla.


Things that differ this school are . . . I don’t know. Maybe the Islamic surrounding, I guess. Though we’re still kids and immature but we’d been teach about manners and responsibilities. I think we’re quite mature for our own age.

There’s this one day, we’d been discussing about a very heavy topic – murtad, and everyone was really into it. Asking tons of questions. Btw, we also had usrah leaded by the muallim and muallimah. At a very young age, we’d been trained to think not for ourselves but also for the community.

As I entered middle school, the surrounding was a lot harsher. People often teased me for wearing tudung labuh. Made a mocking face whenever I walk past through them. I heard them all and ignored it all. Sometimes, I was like swearing. But, I was strong enough to hold it on. Because, it’s me against them all. I know this was not the fight that I’ll be the winner.

Hira’ really had make me tougher – inside and out.

I can’t describe how. But, I value all the things that I gained throughout my 6 years there. 6 years were a long time. And the school you’re going really influenced how you’ll turn up to be. So, remember to place your children at a good school . . . if you want them to turn out to be like me. ^^

A non-government school was really expensive. So true! I remember my dad had to pay RM1XXX/month for our school fees. And he has 6 children. Just imagine . . . But, spending a bit for a good education for your children is an investment for your own future too.


Things that you’ll receive hereafter are the du’a of good sons, your good deeds and the charity you’d done in the world.


Why out of sudden?

This is the main point of this entry actually. Huw huw. *panjang beno intro

Last Friday, when I was at the Bazaar Ramadhan near Kolej Cemara & Akasia, I saw this one small booth with Hira' written at it's banner. With very little curiosity, I searched through it again to ensure that that's Hira' is somehow related to my childhood school. And . . . it does!

I saw their badge and it's the same. So, I decide to approach the man sitting behind the desk.

“Minta maaf. Tumpang tanya, Hira’ ni Hira’ Batu Belah ke?”

“Ah ya ya. Hira’ Batu Belah. Sebenarnya kami sedang mengadakan kutipan untuk . . .”

“Saya bekas pelajar Hira’. Muallim ni mengajar Hira’ ya?”

“Oh, alumni lah ni . . .”

And, we had some quick talk. Actually, our school will be replace at a new site because the old site was just a rent and it's agreement is about to end. By 2020, the school had to be replace in any means. So, a fund has been held for the financial support of the school's construction. 

the new school-to-be

For more detail information please visit or download the booklet.

I really look forward for anyone that willingly to help to raise a fund regarding our new school construction project. Please spread this, and may your kindness will be paid.

Contact me,

Saturday, 3 August 2013

Masha Allah

Okay, I don’t know what to write about actually. So, I’m going to promote this one song I like much.  Entitled ‘Masha Allah’ by Maher Zain. That was a fully Arabic song. I don’t know why recently I’d been memorizing fully Arabic songs. Maybe because my tongue been missing to speak in Arabic. And through song, actually it makes this language sounds more interesting.

More, I admire all songs by Hamza Namira. His songs are not all about God and religious, but some yes. His songs mostly about life hope and love. It’s just like listening to Arabic version of western music. Songs from Hamza Namira : Hansaa, Insan, Ew’idooni, Ehlam Ma’aya . . .

Arabic is a very beautiful language. I love the fact that I’m using the language that once been using by the prophet Muhammad pbuh. And the language that will be use by all the folks of Jannah.

So, Masha Allah.

This song is dedicated to a newlywed couple. So contrast with the title, right? If you know the translated meaning, then you’ll know what it’s all about. Click Here.

Personally, memorizing Arabic songs though you know not the meaning is much better than memorizing western or Korean songs. It’s more beneficial and ethical.

More songs from Maher Zain: Assalamu Alayka, Muhammad, Mawlaya, Radhitu Billahi Rabba, This Wordly Life, Love Will Prevail, Ramadhan . . .